No one is immune to the devastating physiological effects that are often experienced after a break-up. I don’t care how strong a person is, because when it comes to matters of the heart, you just can’t flip a switch to shut off the hurtful emotions that follows.
Some people are better at hiding their feelings, but this is called, lying to yourself.
And no matter what façade you present to the people around you, at some point during each day you’ll be alone and will have no choice but to face the reality that you’ve parted ways with the person whom you love or like a lot.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling sad, as this is a natural human emotion.
No matter how many times your family and friends tell you to forget the person, you and I know that it’s not that easy.
After breaking up with your partner, you’ll most definitely miss him or her.
Depending upon the reason you two broke up in the first place, you may be desperate to get back with your ex.
You may think you are the only person in this world to experience such terrible heartache, but you are not.
It’s a fact that many people have successfully taken broken relationships and put them back together, and oftentimes stronger.
Here are 10 steps to getting your ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, or even ex-spouse back...
1)) Let’s Be Friends
This is one of the most effective ways of getting your ex back. Your ex will expect you to mop over him or her, be depressed, and even beg him or her to return to your life.
Surprise him or her by doing no such thing. In fact, go out and socialize. Give the impression that you have completely ‘moved on’ after him or her, and do have a life of your own.
This is sure to take him or her aback. While you play the ‘I am over you’ role to perfection, also let your ex know that you hold no grudges against him or her for breaking up with you.
Instead, tell him or her that you should be friends due to all the good times the two of you shared together.
Call your ex every once in a while in a ‘friendly’way, and while you are doing this, also subtly mention the subjects that your ex finds interesting.
Speak intelligently about them, but do not overdo it. Your seemingly carefree attitude is sure to disturb your ex enough to want you back.
In a way, you’re putting on a façade, but in this case it will benefit you by keeping you from feeling down on yourself and from slipping into a depression.
This approach provides you with the momentum needed to blast past those days when you feel sad.
Momentum is one of those keys to life, because it produces movement.
And after you’ve broken up with an ex, you must be proactive in moving your life forward in a positive direction with or without that person.
Does this make sense?
2)) Patience Is The Key
Whoever said that patience is the key, sure knew what he or she was talking about. Trying to win your ex back is an onerous task which must be handled with extreme patience.
For this, you will have to give your ex time to get over the break-up before you start trying to patch things up with him or her.
Do not call or try to see your ex too often, because you both need some time to reflect upon the roles that you played in the break-up.
Remember, it takes two to tangle.
Shifting all of the blame on the other person may not be fair, even though in some cases, one person is responsible for the entire deterioration of the relationship.
In those instances, you have to ask yourself if pursuing the relationship is worth it or not.
3)) Ask Your Ex Out
Do not be surprised. Since you are still friends with your ex, this should not be a bolt from the blue for him or her.
If you want, you can make a common date of it where you invite your mutual friends to tag alone.
This usually makes the environment less awkward, but not always.
In case your ex smells a rat and plays hard to get, then maybe you can confide in one of your mutual friends and ask him or her to organize a party where the two of you can meet.
When you attend this party, make sure you are dressed to kill.
4)) Turn Head At All Times
Not just at a party where you have conspired to ‘run’ into your ex, you must be dressed to perfection at all times.
Pull out all stops while shopping for your mission. Get a makeover if that will make you look visually appealing.
A stunning hairdo or haircut is also likely to peak your ex’s attention, along with that of several others.
5)) Talk To Your EX
Contrary to popular belief, flirting with others in front of your ex is a big no-no and can be seen a distasteful.
This can lead to disastrous results, especially if your ex is the jealous type.
On the contrary, focus your attention on your ex. Talk to him or her intelligently. Do not overdo the conversation. Keep it light, friendly with no overtones of romance, expectations, and humorous.
6)) Assert Your Independence
If the two of you have been invited to a party together, make sure you bring your own mode of transportation.
If the two of you work together, then also make sure that you are taking your own vehicle to work every day.
This is because if you have just broken up, you ex will not want to be seen with you or may not even want to be around you.
In this case, it will not augur well for you if you still look up to him or her for conveyance.
Show him or her that you are an independent person.
7)) Do Not Stalk
It is natural to miss your ex, especially after you have broken up with him or her for good.
But do not make yourself look pathetic by stalking your ex either by phone or in person. Let him or her be, and lead a normal peaceful life.
This is will also show that you have handled the break up with the dignity expected of a sensible person.
8)) Do Not Forget Birthdays
Even after you have broken up, do remember to wish your ex on his or her birthday, or any similar milestone in his or her life. This gesture will make your ex appreciate you more.
9)) Be Happy
Break-ups can be heart-breaking, but it definitely is not the end of the world, even though at the time it may feel that way.
Take the break-up sportingly.
Try your best to remain happy and cheerful, once your ex sees you in good spirits even after the break-up, he or she might realize that you have a life of your own to lead, which is not affected by his or her presence in it.
He or she might want you back then.
10)) Cultivate A New Interest
Do not misread this step. Cultivating a new interest does not mean getting into a new relationship.
This simply means that you must pick up a new hobby or interest to keep you distracted from the misery that is typical of a break-up.
If there’s a hobby that you use to enjoy, but have put it on the shelf for a while, then why not dust it off and get back into the swing of things.
Hobbies bring joy to our lives, but often get forgotten because life gets in the way.
If you were into playing tennis, golf, photography, sewing, cooking and so on…
Making them a part of your life again is a fantastic way to endure a break-up.
You now know the 10 Steps To Getting Your EX Back, which is oftentimes not an easy task.
I could provide you with a ton of advice on how to get your ex back, but before you embark upon that journey, you must ask yourself the following question:
Is My Ex Worth Getting Back With?
Not to come from a negative standpoint, but an EX is an Ex for a reason.
Depending upon what caused the break-up in the first place, remaining Exes maybe the best option.
For example, if the person was abusive mentally and/or physically, then I highly suggest that you move on with your life, work on yourself, and after getting rid of any baggage that may have accumulated during this toxic relationship, get back into the dating scene.
However, if you with every ounce of your being feel that your ex is The One That Got Away and the relationship was relatively healthy and there wasn’t bad break-up, then by all means pursue your goal of getting your ex back.
I didn’t want to paint this rosy picture of getting back with your ex if the circumstances were dire.
You desire someone who’s going to respect and treat you well, because anything less is uncivilized.
I hope this helps.
Good luck in pursuit of getting your ex back!