If you truly feel that it’s worth the effort to patch things up with the person you just broke up with and plan to win him or her back by sending text messages, it's important that you get that very first text just right.

Trying to figure out the right words to say can be challenging, as you will not want to compose anything that might push him or her further away.

To make the situation more complicated, you’re typically dealing with emotions, coping with fear and rejection, and worrying about if you are doing the right thing all play a part in how you might be feeling at the time you may send a text.

Knowing exactly what to write and what words to text will all play a part in whether or not you can in fact text your ex back.

Here are some common questions that tend to pop up:

  • Do I type something short and sweet?
  • Should I keep it simple?
  • Is it okay to show him or her that I still care?
  • Do I apologize?
  • Is it smart to find out how he or she is doing?
  • I’m I texting too soon?

These are perhaps just some of the many questions stirring around in your head.

But when it comes to actually text your ex, you will need to know the answers or at the very least what you might choose to text.

After all, that very first text could be the be-all and end-all of your relationship, so it is extremely important to get it right.

Therefore you will need to text your ex back with a well-thought-out first text.

What you should be aiming for is to make an impact and allow that first text to open up your ex's mind to the idea of getting back together.

Here are a few pointers that you might like to consider…

Do Not Text To Soon

Try not to text your ex too soon after the breakup; give it a couple of weeks.

This will give you plenty of time to reflect back on the relationship and think about where you went wrong.

You will have lots of emotions going on, so you'll need time to process your feelings and not act on impulse.

It could cost you if you rush in!

Tip: When you text your ex back isn’t set in stone and depends upon factors such as the nature of the breakup, whether can it be repaired, whether was it due to a misunderstanding and so on.

You may be able to start texting him or her back in less than a week.

Only you can make that determination based on being honest with yourself and the state of the relationship.

Avoid Talking About the Breakup

Avoid mentioning the relationship and how or why it ended. You need to focus on why you want to be back with your ex and hope they feel the same way.

No Begging Allowed

Don't beg or use terms that are overpowering.

This will look desperate and you want to appear mature and give the impression that you are willing to start fresh.

Keep Your Text Messages Short and Sweet

And finally, keep it short and send various texts that follow.

It may be you don't get an immediate response to the first text, so you'll need to word your texts so they follow on.

So far, I’ve briefly talked about sending your first text message, now let’s briefly discuss three types of messages you shouldn’t send…

3 Text Messages That Won’t Get Your Ex Back

Text messages composed correctly can be very powerful.

Choosing the right words can have a significant impact and stir up passion and mystery in the ex you still love.

Texts can help bridge the gap that has grown between you two and help forge a new path that draws you both together.

Using texts as a means to get your ex back can work to your advantage.

All you need to know is what and when it’s best to text and of course what not to text and what could be detrimental.

Choosing the right words is crucial and knowing how much time to give before sending a second text is all-important.

The wrong types of texts can lead to something much more painful than the initial break-up, so it is always a good idea to give yourself time to compose yourself as well as the message you would like to put across.

When it comes to texts that won't get your ex back there are 3 main types you need to know about and should avoid at all costs.

1)) The Nothing Text

These texts might start with a 'Hi' or 'what's up?'

At first glance, they may not appear offensive, but on reflection, what they actually do is lead to a one-word answer that can close down the conversation.

2)) The Needy Text

These often start with 'What are you up to?', 'Are you seeing someone else yet?', 'Why don't you text me back?' or 'Don't you love me anymore?

Although these may be questions you want answers to, they are not appropriate in a text.

They will make you appear insecure and desperate and if anything, put your ex right off and remind them of the reason why you broke up in the first place.

3)) The Begging and Pleading Text

These texts are way too desperate sounding and may start with 'I'll do anything just to get you back', 'Tell me what I did wrong', 'I can't live without you'.

Before sending any text, remember why you are texting; because you want to get back with your ex and not push them further away.


More and more exes are using the texting formula in a bid to win back their loved ones to start over a new relationship.

With so much information floating around about what you need to do, and how, and when you should start texting your ex, it is no wonder that the mere act of sending a text has become something of an art and a skill.

To text back your ex is not just a simple message sent from your mobile phone, it is a process that takes time and planning.

The text-your-ex-back process consists of a few planned steps that allow you to say all the right things and send your carefully crafted words via text messages.

Some experts state that the process starts with a time-out period which gives both you and your ex time, ideally at least 4 weeks, in which to reflect on where you went wrong and surmise your feelings for each other.

Remember, this 4 week period is nothing but a guideline, as it could take more or less time depending upon the nature of the breakup.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to anything in life.

The time-out period is a crucial part of the text-your-ex-back process as it prevents a lot of pent-up anger, frustrations, and hurt from spilling out in frantic text messages.

Once you and your ex have had time apart and time to reflect, emotions can be analyzed and it is in this part of the process that you can carefully plan your first text.

You'll need to avoid anything too heavy or direct, so a good place to start is by asking how your ex is doing and wrapping it up with a subtle compliment.

This, at the very least, will not go unnoticed and leave the pathway clear for a response or for you to compose a follow-up text message.

Remember, texting back your ex can either be a good or bad thing, so don't rush in, but rather allow the step-by-step process to slowly unfold and help you win back your ex.

Good luck with texting your ex back!

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